Wednesday, 14 November 2007

She's no Steve Brookstein

Let me introduce you to a little known artist called Leona Lewis. She's like Mariah Carey but with darker skin, smaller boobs (Give her a year) and bigger teeth!

She comes from Hackney which is the UK's equivalent to the Bronx - sex, drugs and chicken shops being robbed. Classy.

Her debut album is out this week and has so far sold 17 billion copies. It is on course to be the first album in history to be included in the Bible. In fact, an entire country, nay planet is to be named after Leona herself!

That's right, folks. Leona mania has taken over!

So is the album any good?

Well, it's not bad but it's hardly a classic like Michael Jackson's 'Thriller' or Michelle McManus' 'The meaning of love'.

For those of you who haven't seen it yet (All two of you), here is the video to 'Bleeding love' which in fairness is so amazing, all other singers should give up making music (I'm talking to you, Westlife)



Other songs on the album you should check out include 'Homeless' which is so beautiful, it could break the coldest person's heart... apart from homeless people who probably think Leona is a cunt; and 'Footprints in the sand' which is also pretty nifty.

This time next year, Leona will be Queen, Prime Minister and Saviour.

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